Tuesday, 4 May 2010

More stories from the parallel universe

Another interesting couple of weeks here in the alternative reality - once again on the face of things it all seems to get more familiar and pretty enjoyable. I am running around all the time with not enough hours in the day, people want things and quickly and we all try to accommodate them and generally get there but somehow you're never sure if what you are doing is the righ thing!
Yesterday I heard that I'd passed my probabation and had to sign the form today - all fine with fours or fives in every area but no discussion or chance to ask questions. Whilst I don't disagree, you wonder if only a four for 'knowledge of job' means that the boss genuinely thinks that after 25 years you don't fully understand the 'four P's' of marketing or whether (quite understandably) you can't argue with a booth builder in Arabic about the problems with an exhibition stand, or how to persuade HR to sign off on the staff newsletter (in which case I'd struggle to give myself a 1). As for a four for 'Results focused' I'm totally lost. I know that this is my main raison d'etre but I'm still trying to work out what the goals are so maybe that's a conversation we should try to have at some stage.
The last couple of days have involved a trip to Al Ain for a careers event - all very exciting with a new stand builder and for once the knowledge that sorting out the gift packs, 12kg of branded chocolates and floral arrangements would be key to success! It looks great though at 9.30 at night sitting patiently whilst Nidal argued with the booth builder in Arabic about what needed doing made me wonder what value I was adding and whether I could ever manage without her is a worry. Al Ain reminded me of Milton Keynes with endless roundabouts and shopping malls though it is the heart of historic Abu Dhabi. The fort was so small I missed it on several drive bys and the famous mountain is mainly famous because everywhere close by is flat! As I watched these groups of very glamourous Emirati girls wandering around with their gold plated blackberries and Gucci handbags I was stuggling to understand their motivation for working but I guess I'll get there.
I've had two fun experiences with going to meetings at military sites and on both occasions they did let me in but not without a body search and removal of blackberry, mobile and cameras. For both meetings, when I finally got in the meetings were conducted in Arabic so I did wonder why I was there but I had Nidal for one and Fatima for the other so I guess I was just a 'presence' though not much else.
I am trying to learn some Arabic and have picked up the pleasantries from Nidal 'kifack hebibby' 'janny' etc but when I try to sue them I'm told I'm using a Lebanese version so not very impressive! There are lot of words in English so I try to work out what's going on. At today's meeting it was clear that they were talking about the best ways to talk to 16 - 18 year old boys about careers - something I do know about even here, but when I discussed this with Fatima she assured me that it was gender, not language that stopped us from contributing to the conversation.
Last night we went to the dinner for the 'Women in Science' conference which was organized by Amahl. John's amazing female Emirati Professor. The guest speaker was Sheikha Aluman, another inspirational Emirati woman, who is Minister for Foreign Trade. She spoke passionately about the role of women in this society and there is no question that talented women are in abundance. Hopefully the culture will be able to change fast enough to make the most of this talent.
I was also lucky enough to be involved with the Emirates Skills competition, which we have been sponsoring and is organized by the Institutes of Applied Technology, whic our Chairman is also Chairman of. Especially as I was involved with the London bid to host the 2011 World Skills Competition with Investors in People. Another great example of last minute. The day before I heard that I had to be there at 10am and to write some words for the boss to say. It turned out to be 5pm and when I got there they needed a pull up stand as well. But Nidal had heard this an hour before and turned up at 4.55pm complete with a pull up that had been dried with a hair dryer and produced in less than 2 hours - only in the UAE. We did manage one overnight for the Now People pitch but that was a once off! When I arrived I discovered that we were signing an Memorandum of Understanding for an AED 1 million sponsorship deal in front of assorted press! However it all seemed to go fine - the boss read my words (translated in Arabic) verbatim and the pull up didn't stick to anyone's clothes! John was able to come along which I think was good for both os us as he met my Chairman and chatted to the Khalifa University boss and a few others. The best thing was the look on the winners faces as they won their medals.
It warms your heart to be involved in all of this but there's just always this worry that somehow you're not doing something that might be even more important! However, as I always say to John, it's got to be a lifetime of interesting stories!

Sunday, 25 April 2010

It's a mad world and somehow I'm living in it!

On the surface of things my life has been recreated much as it was in Manchester. Everyday I get up at 6.30am, put on a business suit, drink a cup of tea and drive to the office listening to radio 2. On arrival I buzz in using my security pass, boot up my computer and check my outlook for new email and the day's activities. I meet with colleagues and subsidiary companies (who are much like clients) and rush around the city in the car attending meetings and then flying back to the office to write things up and organize activity. At the end of the day I drive home, cook supper, J prepares his signature G&T and we eat and watch TV.
But somehow I can't help feeling we're living in a parallel universe which has a semblance of normal life but where, in actual fact, anything could happen and usually does! Take the security pass as an example, on the face of it, it lets me into the office, just like the work one. But in reality it's linked to a database which is monitoring my every move, checking that I do turn up on time and don't head for home too early. I'm surprised I haven't crashed the system since I spend my entire day running between the four villas which make up head office, the design studio and our subsidiaries, who are scattered across the city. I wonder if anyone ever looks at the information but just knowing they could is a little scary!
The concept of planning no longer exists in this new world, one day I think I'm organizing collateral, gifts and presentations for a university employer day in mid May, only to find that HR have booked a further 3 events, the first of which starts in a week's time and I am suddenly expected to produce 1500 corporate, branded gift packs of varying complexity, pop up stands, full build exhibition stands, brochures, business cards, order 15kg of branded chocolates and colour themed flower arrangements and book hotels for the team! Whilst this would give any sane person heart failure, it is actually perfectly possible to achieve this because the suppliers are used to this kind of last minute request and pull out all the stops. There is also the mystery of the signing hierarchy, which suddenly changed last week and the threshold for signing by the COO or CEO was reduced from AED 100,000 to AED 30,000 - just after I'd given the supplier the go ahead for two orders worth AED 37,000 and AED 99,000 (thought I'd bucked the system there didn't I!) I had a worrying time when the purchase requests came back unsigned but with the necessary grovelling I did get the right signature before I found myself on the next flight home.
Then there's the decision making process which is completely and utterly beyond my comprehension (except that I do know now that any decision taken which is likely to have a direct bearing on my work will most definitely be taken without my involvement so that's one valuable lesson learnt!) At one of the subsidiary board meetings it was decided in the company of our senior management that the ad agency contract should be cancelled with immediate effect and that each piece of work should be put out to three agencies for quotations and design proposals. A great idea perhaps but completely unworkable from any practical perspective. I have pointed out that I currently have no fewer than 14 work in progress projects with the agency (who are a design outfit rather than a full service provider) and if every single one was quoted and delivered separately it would cost significantly more than the current arrangement and take six times as long but whether anyone listens seems unlikely. What do I know? I'm just the man running the machine and why would anyone consult him?
Last week I also found myself being given as a 'gift' to the Institute of Applied Technology by our Chairman, who is also their Chairman. They need help with their marketing and don't have the budget for an external consultant so I've been offered to them instead. Now this one I really don't mind as they actually appear to be looking for a strategic communications plan (there's that word again which I guess doesn't translate into Arabic!) and I have been able to dust off all the lovely methodology and processes that Derek and I created at work. They are also providing technological education to a new generation of Emiratis and want to build their brand and raise their profile so it's very much my kind of project. Whilst I'm really excited about working with them I would love to be given a little more time to work on it.
However, I do have a lovely new member of the team - Fatima is an Emirati lady who has managed to achieve a degree and two children at the tender age of 22 and is a real asset to the team. She works really hard and speaks great English as well as native Arabic and understands so much better than me how things work around here. So with Nidal who totally gets the whole how things work situation and knows so much more than me about corporate identity and exhibition design it's amazing quite how much we get done in this crazy alternative reality.
As long as try to see it this way I might manage to survive and possibly even achieve something (though that might be going a bit far!) However, I do wonder if my skill set isn't completely alien to this working culture. I wouldn't mind the way things seem not to happen for ages if they didn't keep popping back up again, just when you thought they'd gone away and need doing and delivering by someone in marketing by TOMORROW! Somehow the concept of Insha'Allah doesn't apply to us and I don't know why but maybe I'll find out one day and if I do I'll be sure to let you know!

Sunday, 18 April 2010

Volcanic ash puts paid to long awaited visit

I guess if you're reading this you'll know that a volcano erupted in Iceland putting paid to travel plans for millions. That included Mum and her friend Jo finally coming to stay with us in Abu Dhabi. We were all looking forward to this so much and we'd got two guest bedrooms and bathrooms completed kitted out and a whole range of activites line up. It was hard not to shed a few tears and for the various preparations in the apartment not to lear at me every time I walked past. Still it was pretty unprecedented and we can't be the people most put out. One of my friends has her son back from boarding school for the Easter holidays and he needs to get back to the UK for his GCSE exams and can't get back. Our business development team is trapped in Paris (it's and ill wind!) and the Babcock team couldn't get back to Abu Dhabi for their meeting so all in all we have to accept that God and nature will always be in charge!
We had booked the Shuja Yacht brunch cruise for Saturday for Mum and Jo so our neighbours, Pat and Judy, nobly took their places and we did all have a lovely time. We cruised for a couple of hours off the Corniche whilst drinking Californian bubbly and eating a seafood buffet and sublime deserts.
J and I tried to go to the beach on Friday to find most of it shut off in preparation for the Womad festival - we had a quick swim on the main beach but it was so crowded we didn't stay long. The weather has been very changeable over the last few days - a bit like April in the UK, just add 15 or 20 degrees, but we've had rain, cloud, strong wind and a drop or rise from 23 to 36 degrees and varying humidity.
April may be 'the cruellest month' anywhere in the world but they won't be 'breeding lilacs out of the dead land' around here I don't think!
Now I just have to work out what to do about the Qasr Al Sarab hotel booking for next weekend. But is anyone can get here and fancies a trip we have two perfect guest rooms and bathrooms just crying out for occupants.

Perfect wedding anniversary at the Shangri La

The 14th April saw our first wedding anniversary. Considering everything that has happened since it seems like more than a year! This year has been a challenge and no mistake but being married to John has not been one of them!
We wanted to celebrate on the actual day which was probably a mistake as J had a big Exec Committee meeting on Sunday so he was naturally stressed and distracted by the preparation for such an important meeting. John had chosen the Shangri La Bord Eau French restaurant as it is pretty amazing and a special treat place and I thought we might stay over, since we stayed at the Shangri La on our very first visit and J lived in their residences for the first two months, whilst I was still in Manchester, so it always feels a bit like coming home, whenever I go there.
J was worried about getting me a card and at one stage suggested I might have to drive him to the Mall to buy one but being the star he is, he solved it without the need for the wife/driver! The day itself was pretty stressful for both of us at work so we didn't make it to the Shangri La in time to enjoy the beach, the pool or the spa. However it didn't matter, since the moment we walked in the door we were made to feel special and the relaxation began. We were met at reception with red roses and shown to a beautiful room. No sooner had we got unpacked than a guy arrived with an incredible chocolate mousse cake with Happy Anniversary iced on it. We went for dinner and were met with a complimentary kir then enjoyed a fantastic dinner - quail salad and chicken for me, lobster and wagyu beef for J washed down with a bottle of the jeffreys (Gevrais Chambertin for any readers outside the Chambers family). We ordered some home made ice cream which was delicious but a mistake as we were presented with another sumptuous cake after this. With two cakes the Masdar Institute and EAI teams enjoyed cake the next day so our popularity ratings have to have been increased!
It was a fantastic evening and my only regret was doing it on a work day as we had to get up early and miss out on the lovely breakfast buffet and the pool. Looking out from the balcony I felt like I was on holiday but had to ask the valet parking guys to bring my car and head to the office. It was just perfect. J and I spent a relaxing evening together in what has to be the loveliest hotel in Abu Dhabi in a fabulous room with all the trimmings.
I don't think any day could really beat 14th April 2009 when J and I got married with all of our close family and friends around us, it was the most wonderful day, but the Shangri La had a pretty good go at making our first anniversary a close second.

Sunday, 11 April 2010

Back in Abu Dhabi and back to work

So back to Abu Dhabi and back to work after a lovely break. Plenty of interesting things to do at work though the pile of 'work in progress' sitting on my desk gets bigger and bigger with so little of it signed off or completed that it does tend to get rather frustrating! I still have to work out just how to get things done though I'm not sure there's an easy answer. However, when something really does need to be done it's always in a panic and a terrible rush with lots of shouting and everyone screaming so you know then that it needs doing.
I had to supply some logos for the an event that our Chairman had decided to sponsor - a simple enough task you might think, but one was for an external organization and the other two needed to be in a very specific format. The organizers didn't respond to my requests for information on file size, deadline or destinations so I was slowly dealing with the task along with other things when all hell broke loose with people screaming for these logos from all directions! I couldn't get them on the email so in the end in desperation I jumped in the car and went and fetched them on a disc - mainly just to get away from people shouting for them by phone and email. It was all very exciting! This is the same with everything where no-one gives any feedback on anything until it is needed NOW!
However, I did have a really good time the week before last where I ran a marketing planning workshop with the senior management team from one of the subsidiaries (I know it's only taken 3 months to do one of the things which I thought was crucial to the job description!)It seemed to go well and I think people were pleased with the outcomes report though we still don't have a date for the follow up operational planning meeting (hopefully not another 3 months!) I have also been working on a sales presentation for one of our joint ventures - with the UK Facilities Management company Babcock, which has been a pleasure.
I have so many projects 'on hold' for HR comms that I risk being buried should the files ever fall over. I had to contact all the venues who had provided proposals for our senior team event and staff family day to put the dates on hold, as I couldn't ask them to hold 50 rooms indefinitely. It clearly happens all the time since no-one seemed remotely upset even though I felt like a real heel.
I think I made some progress with the advertising agency contract for one of our subsidiaries - the agency had been working for them since September without being paid due to a major discrepancy on the contract, what a nightmare! However, I am assured that some initial invoices have been passed for payment and that all parties are happy with the new contract which I've designed even though nothing has been signed and no money has changed hands!
I actually met our elusive chairman last week which has been a long time coming. He is certainly as charismatic and impressive as everyone says and he makes you feel as though he's genuinely interested in what you have to say. I managed nearly an hour, which is pretty amazing. However, he did spend a lot of time talking about what he thought John should do - he is a trustee of Khalifa University, an Engineer and Chair of the IAT (Institute of Applied Technologies) so he has a keen interest in scientific and technical education. I'm delighted that he has linked the two of us and clearly marketing to young people about education and careers is also my bag but with no time to prepare I'm not sure that I managed to get the right things across. Still it was wonderful to meet him at last - even if it did result in a day of logo wild goose chase!

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

The rest of the UK trip

After all the excitement of John's party and the relief that it had gone well I was able to fully relax and enjoy the rest of our trip to the UK. On Tuesday I had to go to the final Investors in People board meeting since, now that it is being taken over by the UK Council for Education and Skills it will no longer be a Non Departmental Public Body which means it has no need of Board Members like myself. It was really sad to say goodbye to fellow board members and IIP staff who I have been working with for over 4 years. Many staff are not transferring to UKCES though some have taken the opportunity to go and do something completely different - Gary is going to do a Masters and train to be a social worker so I can't think of a more worthwhile thing to do in a redundancy situation. I'm sure the standard will live on, it is the only public sector super brand after all, but it won't feel the same without its own special company and a group of people who were so very passionate about it. Some of the board members still have a lot of work to do to ensure that everything gets transferred properly but I haven't been involved in this with being so far away so it was the last time for me. I hope I will have the chance to make a similar contribution in the future though whilst I'm in Abu Dhabi I'm not really in the best position to offer my skills right now.
John also spent time carrying out his 'civic' duties by chairing and attending meetings at the Royal Academy of Engineering and the Institute of Chemical Engineers so we made the best contributions we could to the UK in the short time we were there.
I was able to call in at the London office of Wordsearch and thank the team personally who had made such a lovely job of designing and producing John's book.
We treated ourselves to a lovely dinner at the OXO tower before leaving London and enjoyed a fabulous meal with the great view of the London skyline. The only beef I have with this place is the tables are just a little bit close together so you tend to find out rather more about your neighbours than you really want to! We had an air stewardess on a first date and a couple who preferred to go home rather than spend the night together because they couldn't sleep. Pretty intimate stuff which made me very cautious about what we were talking about!
We headed to Manchester on the Wednesday where we managed to get various crucial jobs done and visited my aunty Brenda and persuaded her to act as our proxy vote for the upcoming general election. We bought a super new HP notebook to replace the Dell, killed by a virus so we have all the necessary connections at home and I can hopefully start loading some new tracks onto the iPod again. We enjoyed several wonderful meals out - lunch at The Bull near Skipton with Mum, Selfridges and Cafe Rouge on top of the two Pizza Expresses last week so we fitted in all the old favourites. It's one of the thing we miss in Abu Dhabi is being able to wander out for a relatively inexpensive lunch with a nice glass of wine! We also went back to Rosso (I know it's the wrong team but as an Italian restaurant it's lovely!) When someone from Man City opens a restaurant in town I promise to go there as well. We walked in and found half of the old recruitment advertising sorority having dinner so it was good to say hello - though John pointed out that none of us could really be described as 'girls' any more. But then I've know Michelle, Nicola and some of the others for at least 20 years so we were girls once!
Sunday we had to head back to Abu Dhabi and I'm afraid it was with a bit of heavy heart as we'd had such a lovely time in the UK. The Manchester apartment is pretty small compared with Abu Dhabi but it's still lovely and the weather wasn't too cold. Whilst we are there spring arrived and the flowers on the Princess Parkway changed from crocuses to daffodils in less than a week.
I know they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I think I was always pretty fond of Manchester and loved living in our apartment in the city. However, we enjoyed a lovely business class flight back with all the trimmings so it gave us a suitable send off for the end of the holiday and once back we soon got into the swing of things. For a little while we have to get used to living in two places at once and feeling torn between two lives and they do say that things get easier as you get used to it!

Thursday, 1 April 2010

John's surprise party








Proof in pictures of my ability to get a group of Chemical Engineers together in one place! I think the look on John's face adequately demonstrates quite how big a surprise it all was! My skills didn't run to a panoramic group shot but I got everyone into two! Liz and Keith look through the book with John and everyone seems to be having a good time.