It's a mad world and somehow I'm living in it!

On the surface of things my life has been recreated much as it was in Manchester. Everyday I get up at 6.30am, put on a business suit, drink a cup of tea and drive to the office listening to radio 2. On arrival I buzz in using my security pass, boot up my computer and check my outlook for new email and the day's activities. I meet with colleagues and subsidiary companies (who are much like clients) and rush around the city in the car attending meetings and then flying back to the office to write things up and organize activity. At the end of the day I drive home, cook supper, J prepares his signature G&T and we eat and watch TV.
But somehow I can't help feeling we're living in a parallel universe which has a semblance of normal life but where, in actual fact, anything could happen and usually does! Take the security pass as an example, on the face of it, it lets me into the office, just like the work one. But in reality it's linked to a database which is monitoring my every move, checking that I do turn up on time and don't head for home too early. I'm surprised I haven't crashed the system since I spend my entire day running between the four villas which make up head office, the design studio and our subsidiaries, who are scattered across the city. I wonder if anyone ever looks at the information but just knowing they could is a little scary!
The concept of planning no longer exists in this new world, one day I think I'm organizing collateral, gifts and presentations for a university employer day in mid May, only to find that HR have booked a further 3 events, the first of which starts in a week's time and I am suddenly expected to produce 1500 corporate, branded gift packs of varying complexity, pop up stands, full build exhibition stands, brochures, business cards, order 15kg of branded chocolates and colour themed flower arrangements and book hotels for the team! Whilst this would give any sane person heart failure, it is actually perfectly possible to achieve this because the suppliers are used to this kind of last minute request and pull out all the stops. There is also the mystery of the signing hierarchy, which suddenly changed last week and the threshold for signing by the COO or CEO was reduced from AED 100,000 to AED 30,000 - just after I'd given the supplier the go ahead for two orders worth AED 37,000 and AED 99,000 (thought I'd bucked the system there didn't I!) I had a worrying time when the purchase requests came back unsigned but with the necessary grovelling I did get the right signature before I found myself on the next flight home.
Then there's the decision making process which is completely and utterly beyond my comprehension (except that I do know now that any decision taken which is likely to have a direct bearing on my work will most definitely be taken without my involvement so that's one valuable lesson learnt!) At one of the subsidiary board meetings it was decided in the company of our senior management that the ad agency contract should be cancelled with immediate effect and that each piece of work should be put out to three agencies for quotations and design proposals. A great idea perhaps but completely unworkable from any practical perspective. I have pointed out that I currently have no fewer than 14 work in progress projects with the agency (who are a design outfit rather than a full service provider) and if every single one was quoted and delivered separately it would cost significantly more than the current arrangement and take six times as long but whether anyone listens seems unlikely. What do I know? I'm just the man running the machine and why would anyone consult him?
Last week I also found myself being given as a 'gift' to the Institute of Applied Technology by our Chairman, who is also their Chairman. They need help with their marketing and don't have the budget for an external consultant so I've been offered to them instead. Now this one I really don't mind as they actually appear to be looking for a strategic communications plan (there's that word again which I guess doesn't translate into Arabic!) and I have been able to dust off all the lovely methodology and processes that Derek and I created at work. They are also providing technological education to a new generation of Emiratis and want to build their brand and raise their profile so it's very much my kind of project. Whilst I'm really excited about working with them I would love to be given a little more time to work on it.
However, I do have a lovely new member of the team - Fatima is an Emirati lady who has managed to achieve a degree and two children at the tender age of 22 and is a real asset to the team. She works really hard and speaks great English as well as native Arabic and understands so much better than me how things work around here. So with Nidal who totally gets the whole how things work situation and knows so much more than me about corporate identity and exhibition design it's amazing quite how much we get done in this crazy alternative reality.
As long as try to see it this way I might manage to survive and possibly even achieve something (though that might be going a bit far!) However, I do wonder if my skill set isn't completely alien to this working culture. I wouldn't mind the way things seem not to happen for ages if they didn't keep popping back up again, just when you thought they'd gone away and need doing and delivering by someone in marketing by TOMORROW! Somehow the concept of Insha'Allah doesn't apply to us and I don't know why but maybe I'll find out one day and if I do I'll be sure to let you know!